Yesterday was quite a day for me. Amidst the chaos of preparing for Buckeye Awakening #7, midterms and papers I decided to tack on my first car accident. Relax. It was a fender bender but enough to shake me up. The first person I called was my dad...just as any girl would. His only concern was if I was safe and unharmed. That same sentiment followed when I spoke with my mom and my boyfriend. No one seemed to be upset or angry that I had made a mistake and wrecked my car. I'm sure those feelings will come but I had no idea what reaction to expect after this happened to me. I was overwhelmed that everyone's first question was "Are you okay?" My first question for myself was "What the heck were you doing? What just happened? Does my car look trashy now? Will people still drive with me?" Okay, that was five questions but you get the idea.
Formalities were taken care of, with the exception of the police coming to scene. Apparently Obama had 'em all tied up on campus. The night wore on and I didn't think much of what had happened. I had gotten all the tears out and felt calmed down. I found love and support in friends and family. I returned home after night prayer and began to journal about what had happened. I have this experience that, when I journal, God reveals different things to me that I would've never realized if I hadn't written anything down. As I wrote I began to see His purpose in allowing this to happen 5 hours after I had just told 4 people I had a clean record and they would be safe riding with me to the retreat center on Friday.
My history of no accidents, no tickets, and no citations was always a point of pride for me. Red flag #1: Pride. It seemed to be the one thing I could boast about. Red flag #2: Boasting. I gave all the credit to myself and my "great" driving skills. Red flag #3: Not giving the glory to God. This may all seem miniscule but let's look at those red flags. I don't think I've been seeing how God is trying to teach me about humility. He literally needed to put me into a wreck to make me realize how selfish and prideful I have been. As I cried after the accident I began to wonder why I was actually crying. I thought it was because I was shaken up, but the reason was really "I've never been in a car accident before. My pride is hurt. I will never be able to boast about this again."
My thoughts should have been "Praise God I am okay. Praise God that it wasn't worse and that He sent my guardian angel to protect me. Praise God that the other driver was unharmed as well." I did have those thoughts but they were secondary to my pride. As I journaled I began to see what God was trying to tell me. His lesson was clear, "Boast in I alone. Good things come only from me. I must take away your pride so that you may humble your heart and be filled with my grace. Have a simplicity of heart and turn first to Me in all situations. Your pride will wreck you. It will make a mess of the heart that was made to praise God and God alone."
All this came from a fender bender. I know it may seem a little far-fetched and crazy, but what is faith if it isn't a little far-fetched to our human minds? God really does work in mysterious ways. I clearly wish God would've found a bit kinder way to teach me this lesson but clearly I needed a wake-up call. He began the process of killing the fruit of evil in me that takes it's form as pride. I praise God for His mysterious ways. I praise God for crashing my pride. I praise God for teaching me that He is the source of all good.
May Christ be with you now and always,
Steph
No comments:
Post a Comment