Taken

This one is for all my lovely sisters. Men- you can read it too and I hope you do. Just be aware that it's focused towards the ladies. :) 

Hello beautiful sisters!
I am so glad that you have stumbled across (or were forced by myself) to read this. I had this sweet experience in Adoration the other night and it doesn't feel right to not share it with as many women as possible.
For those of you who may not know, I am a huge journaler. I can spend a solid hour writing. It all started in high school when my youth minister encouraged me to start a prayer journal. I began simply writing my prayers and then whatever God would put on my heart. (Whether it was what He was actually trying to say or not is debatable.) That habit has faded, but I will still have moments in Adoration where I feel that God is calling me to write...so that's what I do. I whip out my journal and let the Holy Spirit guide my pen. Below is an excerpt from three nights ago. All credit goes to God.

November 25, 2012        Sunday- Feast of Christ the KING
Adoration~ 8:45 pm
"I love you so much that I come down and kiss your bloody wounds. I came to die for you. I live and reign so that you may continue to know this love. Come, adore Me and I will mend your broken heart. I will wipe away the tears and wash the blood from your wounds. I will make you new. You are My child. Give it all to Me and I will show you love that no one on earth can give. Come, be my bride. Worship Me. My love is all that satisfies. Your heart was made for Me. Lay it down and I will lift you up....I came for your brokenness. I have felt your pain. I know your heart and I will never let go of it. It is held in My hands. Trust Me and bring Me all you have. I love you and you are Mine."

Rewind! Come, be my bride. I remember refusing to write those words at first. They scared me. I thought "God...what are you telling me? That's scary. No way. Just lead me to the next thing you need me to hear and I'll write that instead." Not happening. Not sure if you've ever noticed, but God rarely lets us win arguments. He wasn't letting me get off that easy so down it went...in ink. I wrote that entry and shut my journal. I didn't reread it until last night. I didn't even think about it. That's what I do. I write and only read what I wrote if I feel a need to. Well, last night I felt that it needed to be reread.

I am reading this book called "Restoring Broken Things" by Steven Curtis Chapman and Scotty Smith. It is blowing my mind. I usually read a chapter at a time and then stop. For some reason, the other night I stopped mid-chapter and fell asleep. (This will make sense...promise.) I picked it back up in Adoration last night after a highly emotional/stressful evening. The first thing I read is this:

"We belong to our beloved Bridegroom. Christians are, above all else, the Bride of Jesus. Our hearts, along with everything else, have already been fully spoken for."

 I dropped immediately to my knees. My journal entry from last night explains why. I am going to change it up a little bit so that it can apply to everyone, but all of the content is still there.

November 27, 2012       Tuesday
Adoration- 8:45 pm (Note the time that this was written and my entry on Sunday was written. Apparently good things happen at 8:45 pm in Adoration.)
"It is all making sense now. Why and how did it take me this long to put it all together? God is fitting the pieces together. "Our hearts, along with everything else, have already been fully spoken for." Spoken for by Jesus Christ, Love itself. Why do we, as women, think we can give our hearts away? Our hearts are not ours to give. They do not belong to us at all. He has already claimed our heart as His own.
"Christians are, above all else, the Bride of Jesus." Through our birth, we are the bride of Jesus. We wait for marriage and love when, in fact, we have always been loved and our hearts are married to the One that made them. We seek love. We yearn to give our hearts to someone. Why?! Love is here. Love is now. Our hearts already belong to Someone. The only Someone that truly matters. Why are we not loving Him as our beloved spouse? Why are we not giving Him all of ourselves? Why are we not doing every single thing for Him as if HE is our spouse? As a Christian and as a woman, our hearts are already married to the most loving man to ever exist, Jesus Christ. We are ill-deserving and unworthy, yet He still chose us. We must live for Him. This is the example of true love. This is what a marriage should be...a giving of one's heart to the Almighty King of Kings. May His Name be forever praised."

My mom is probably reading this and freaking out. I am NOT thinking about getting married anytime soon. Relax. That is the last thing on my mind. But there is a serious lesson to be learned. I'm starting to see why 3 days ago God made my pen scribble those words that are terrifying to someone who really isn't ready for any form of commitment right now. I need to start understanding what Christ means when he says "Come, be my bride." At this very moment in my life that means, "Come, love me with all of your heart. Give me everything and I will take care of you and stand by you." Why wouldn't we say yes to that?  Women, let me tell you something. We were made with such beautiful hearts, even if those hearts do get caught up in things other than Christ from time to time. It is part of the beauty that comes with being a woman. Our hearts were made to love and to be loved. Our hearts are sacred and they are meant to be treasured. So, whether you are in a relationship with a man or not, I am praying that you will be His bride above all else. I pray that you will let Him win you over and have your heart. May you see that you are loved by a man who already gave His life for you. I pray that you will never settle for a love that is less than this. Christ is actively pursuing you. Stop running. Love is waiting for you.

For His Glory,
Steph

Buried Elephants

Last weekend, I had the distinct pleasure of having dinner with some of my "kids" from Buckeye Awakening #6. Our conversations ranged from updates on life, class, friends, and somehow turned to an elephant being buried on West Campus. Yeah, I knew Mike was full of random facts but this one made me a little skeptical.

Some of my beautiful family...laughing...as usual...

Really? An elephant buried on Ohio State's campus? I feel like people would have made a bigger deal out of this before now. We have some sweet history here at OSU, but an elephant really makes it. I'll let you check out the links below and decide for yourself if an elephant is truly buried on West Campus. I plan on making that my first question next semester when I start my History of OSU class. Yes, I am taking History of OSU and yes, it does count for credit. I love my school. (PS- The Mirror Lake Jump is tonight. To say I am stoked is an understatement.)

My favorite elephant picture. He's got the right idea. Underneath a waterfall in sunshine. Nothing like a cold lake in November.

This article says the myth was confirmed in 2009.
http://www.ohiostatealumni.org/media/Pages/ABCsofOhioState.aspx

This tells the story of how the elephant got here:
http://library.osu.edu/projects/anniversaries/questions.htm

So, how do all of these dead elephant shenanigans turn into anything meaningful? I had the same question and really expected nothing to come from that conversation. To my surprise, I kept thinking about it and realized that I know where an elephant is buried. In fact, I know where multiple elephants are buried and that, my friends, is in each one of us. This goofy question about an elephant on-campus holds some serious meaning to me now. Regardless of the truth behind the Ohio State myth, I think it is fair to ask...where are the elephants buried in you?

There's that saying, "There's an elephant in the room." Well, what if there is an elephant in your heart? I think we all have one of those. One of the reasons I love people so much is because of their depth. There are so many levels and layers to people. One of my favorite things to do is just sit down and talk with people, ask them about their life, learn their story. Everyone has a story. Something has brought you to where you are today. There are stories within your story. I am all about sitting down with people, especially those I don't know, and just talking for hours. I have learned so much that way.

Sometimes I feel like people are afraid to tell their story and afraid to listen to the stories of others. Digging up elephants (literally and metaphorically) is challenging. Who knows where the elephant on West Campus is buried. By now the grass has surely grown back, buildings have been built and parking lots paved over the burial site. It is the same with people. We bury something deep inside of us and build on top of it. Sometimes we build as a means to move on, sometimes we just want to cover up the past and forget about it and, other times, our elephants help us to grow. What have you built on top of your elephants? Can you easily dig them back up? Are they easy to find? Do you even remember where you put them?

I have found the value in asking questions and truly wanting to know the answer. Sometimes you have to help people dig. The simple question of "How are you?" usually has a much deeper answer than "Fine." Do not be afraid to have a conversation. Some of my greatest life lessons have been learned through people I have only met once and will never meet again, simply by asking a question. Get someone going and they will talk for hours. Okay, maybe that's just me...Just dig deeper. You never know what you may find. 

Much Love,

Steph

P.S.- Thank you BA family for providing me with the inspiration for this blog. :) You guys rock!

Love Won

We are broken. This world is broken. I walk around campus and see thousands of my peers seeking love and attention from all the wrong places. I lay in my bed at night and listen to my neighbors blast their music and yell about nothing in particular. Last night, I heard two girls start to scream at each other about who slept with the guy first and who's responsible for ruining the other person's life. I hear things like this and my heart shatters. 

I'm not afraid to feel.

Let the pain be deep.

Let the tears stream down.

Let my heart break and shatter.

I'm not afraid to feel, Lord.

I'm bracing myself for impact.

I can see that the hurt is coming.

It's almost here.

Wait just a little longer.

The hurt is about to come.

But wait. What is this feeling?

I'm overwhelmed, Lord.

I should feel lost but instead,

I'm found.

My heart is being made whole.

You are making me new.

I hurt but you tell me,

Child, you are beautiful.

You are beautiful.

I am the healer. I am the one you are waiting for.

I close my eyes.

I see Your face.

I hear You say,

My child, 

Love won. 

Then, the light breaks through and Christ reminds us that Love won. Sin runs rampant through this world. The devil is attacking from all sides and leaving no one untouched. This life is shaking us, but it can never break us because sin has been defeated. God has conquered Satan. Good has overcome evil. The cross is our proof that Love won and Love will continue to fight. Today, let your hope be in the Lord. Rest in the arms of Christ knowing that, no matter what, Love wins. Your heart may be broken and shattered, but it will not remain that way. You were not made to be broken. He is making all things new. 

Praying for you now and always,

Steph

"The Lord your God is with you; He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." -Zephaniah 3:17

Let Love In

"Anyone who knows he is loved is in turn prompted to love. It is the Lord himself, who loved us first, who asks us to place at the center of our lives love for him and for the people he has loved."

-Pope Benedict XVI

Love. That word that is tossed around like it is nothing. It has become so twisted in meaning and the world defines it in countless ways, but love can only be defined in one way.  God. God is Love. Jesus Christ is Love. The crucifixion was the means by which God proves His love. It is the solitary proof of the love that the Lord has for us. Now, you may be sitting there reading this thinking, "Okay. I know. God loves me. I get it. You are preaching to the choir here." Stop. Slow down. Hit the pause button. Sit and for just a few seconds let that truth set into your heart. Jesus loves you. Did you read that? Do you know what that means? Jesus loves you as if you were the only person on this earth to love. He loves you enough to DIE for you. In fact, He already did. He suffered a brutal death for you, a person that He had yet to create. 

This truth is one that I have heard millions of times in my life. The word "love" is one that has been tossed around like the waters of the sea. For some reason, God has given me an immense amount of time recently to sit and really think about how my definition of love has changed throughout my short lifetime. It's actually more like how He has changed my definition of love. As with most children, my first concept of love came from my parents. Parents love each other and they love their children. Simple, right? That's where my first concept of love was rooted. My parents were married for 19 years before they separated. That separation caused me to question the meaning of true love. Does love end? Does love have an expiration date? My world was starting to shake and my heart began to break. Yet, God was getting ready to completely rock my world.

Time went on. Now, think back to your high school relationships. My high school relationships were, overall, a huge learning experience. I owe much to my past boyfriends. They brought me out of my comfort zone, taught me that it's okay to be myself,  but they also redefined what love meant to me. It got warped into a skewed definition based on manipulation, pressure, and fear. My high school religion teacher taught us that love meant to will the good of the other. I wish I could say that I saw that in my high school relationships, but for the most part, I didn't. 

Senior year hit which meant chaos hit and my definition of love was wrecked. I was violated, hurt, and torn to pieces. I was at my personal rock bottom. I became convinced that, although love may exist, it wasn't for me to experience. I had yet to find a true, genuine example of love.

Enter in: God. Here we go. We're finally getting to a REAL definition of love...one that is not from this world or based on the ideas of this world. 

So, I go on lots of retreats. It was the summer after my senior year when I first caught a glimpse of true love; love that never ends and never fails. Love that will never give up. I recognized that love is constantly pursuing me in the form of Jesus Christ. Through the past 3 years, I have seen Christ's love come alive in my life and the lives of those around me. Fast forward to the past two weeks. In that short time span, God has showed me His love in the most intense way I have ever experienced. He has used individuals to show me His love. Through the eyes and hearts of others, Christ has allowed me to feel His love in a very real and very human way. 

I have struggled recently to see my worth through the eyes of Christ. Why did God have to die? Why did He have to go through so much suffering for my unworthy soul? Quick answer: love. He loves us so much that He had to die to show us how far true love will go. When you let that love come into your heart, it is overwhelming. Our humanity is not made to handle the full extent of Christ's love. He does, however, give us a taste of this heavenly, unconditional, never ending, free flowing love. Nothing we do can stop Him from pursuing our hearts. Christ has always, is still and will forever pursue us. This now becomes a matter of me (and the rest of us) accepting that we are worthy of this love. Realistically, we aren't really worthy. Our sins continually nail Him back to the cross. We run so far from grace. We willingly reject Christ for the things of the world. So, why? Why does He continue to love us? Because He is God and God is Love and you cannot cease to be who you are. Christ is perfect. His love is perfect and newsflash! You are perfect. You are made in the image of God. Christ lives within you.  How can you refuse the love that lives within you? Can you really run away from the you that God created? Can you ever run too far from Christ when He is running with you, living inside of you?

The Lord is working in extraordinary ways right now. I know that His Love is constantly being poured out on you. Allow yourself to feel it. Crack open your heart and He will let your cup overflow. Take a moment to sit and just let God love on you. It can be so hard for us to accept love as humans, especially from God. However, you were made to give AND receive love. In order to give of yourself, you must have something to give. Let Christ fill you with His love. He will never let you run dry. Love yourself, love Christ, love others. Love without abandon. Don't hold anything back because in the end, what else matters besides love? 

In Christ,
Steph

1 Corinthians 13:1-3