Happy Sunday!!!
July
is almost over. I say this at the end of every month, but I cannot believe it.
Obviously this month was different. Sometimes it felt like the month would
never end and other times it felt like time was flying by so quickly that it
was all a blur. Tomorrow I will leave Africa and start the journey back to
America. I struggle to use the word “home” because I was recently reminded that
home is not a location, but the presence of God. That presence is one that I
have felt so strongly throughout this past month in Ghana. Between the
landscape, the people, the kids, the love and laughter and all the little
things that have happened it is undeniable that God is fully present here in
Ghana. By no means do I think that I could ever live here (See friends…I told
you I would be coming back.) but a visit or two will definitely have to be
arranged. Physical home for me is America and I cannot wait to get back to the
comfort that comes from being “home” but I know a piece of my heart will always
live over the Atlantic Ocean in a little village called Asitey.
I
cannot help but feel a twinge of guilt when I think about going home. It’s
true. I have missed hot showers, American food, ice cubes, pest control, my
pets, family time, all of my friend’s lives, and Columbus. Here’s the thing…I
always knew I would go back to all of that. I told myself that I had to rough
it for a month but then it would all be okay. I was so wrong. Nothing is okay.
It is far from okay. The majority of the kids I have met this past month will
never know the luxury of a hot shower, the love of family, or the satisfaction
that comes from a favorite meal cooked by your parents. Many of them will grow
up at Bright Futures Children’s Home, maybe get a job and then be expected to
live on their own. The question I keep asking is why were they dealt these
cards and not me? That’s where my trust in God has kicked into full gear. I
have learned to trust that this happened for a reason. I was given what I have
with the responsibility to share it with others. I was dealt the cards I was
because God knew I could use the life I have to benefit others. These chilren
are living where they are so that ignorant people like me can come and learn
about life and the mysterious ways of God.
This
past week has been nothing short of a rollercoaster of emotions. There was that
feeling of impending good-byes that were soon to come. The kids slowly began to
realize what we meant when we said that we would have to say good-bye on
Saturday. It wasn’t going to be a “see you in a couple of days” like when we
went to Cape Coast, Kakum National Park or the Wli Waterfalls. This was an “I
will try to come back but it will be a very long time until I see you again”
type of thing. Regardless, this
week was full of laughter and hugs. I began to connect with all of the kids on
a deeper level than just knowing their name.
Forgive is hilarious and
gives the best running hugs. She wears denim every single day in one form or
another. She will never cease to make you laugh even when she does break my
heart by calling me “Mommy.” Michael is a brilliant kid with a huge smile and
way too much energy. I usually found him jumping on my back when I least
expected it. Godwin and Samuel were instigators. We usually ended up running
around like crazy trying to catch each other. Samuel left me with a long list
of all the things I need to bring him from America. Not surprised. Ivy loves
dancing and singing. Her favorite song this past week was “boom-chick-a-boom.”
Every time she would see me I would get a sneaky smile before she broke out
into a quiet chorus. It ended with us laughing hysterically and dancing like
idiots. Alpha finally learned that my name is Auntie Steph. (The title of Mom
was proudly taken by Becky.) Delight constantly shows off her new talent of
jumping rope. She is quiet but beautiful. She loves to sing and never stops
once she gets going. Esther is the one coming up behind me with a big hug and a
smile. Eunice spends most of our time together giggling about nothing at all.
John has been taught how to “Bust a Rock” and we now do it everytime we see
each other. He is my little buddy on the walks to school. Our talks have been
among some of my favorite.
I love all of the kids and would do anything for
them. I am happy that we were able to leave them with so many basic needs. Over
the course of the month we provided the kids with mattresses, toys, books,
sponges, food, hygiene products, medical supplies, cubbies for their things,
shoes, clothing lines, and a bright new paint job at their house.
All of these things are great but they are just
that, things. As we gave them more and more they just wanted more and more.
Here comes another lesson learned…This month has showed me that the truth in
the statement that Christ is the only thing that can fully satisfy our every
need. With material things, it never seems ot be enough. You get one thing and
keep wanting more. You find Christ and you always have enough. He is enough and
He is all I need. It saddens me that some people have never been able to
experience the satisfaction of being filled with the Holy Spirit and in want of
nothing. Don’t get me wrong. Those toys and material things are improving the
lives of those children more than we could ever know. It as so great to see
their happiness at receiving things that can call their very own. I just
learned something a little extra from those smiles that turned into requests
for more.
Last night was the part where the emotions stormed
in. Six of the eight of us left in Asitey had ot say our final good-byes to the
kids. Not my definition of a fun night. Tears were openly flowing. How do you
say good-bye to these precious children that we just spent a month living with
and loving? I think I would’ve held it together a little better if I wouldn’t
have picked up Annesty and seen the tears streaming down her face. I couldn’t
let her go. Just earlier she had told met hat I was the best friend she ever had.
Here I was, doing what so many people have done to her in the past, walking
away. Guilt flooded in. Forgive just stood and tugged at my hand. She didn’t
really understand what was going on but you could tell that she knew it wasn’t
good. Earlier she had called me mommy and I was leaving her as well. Delight
sobbed. Michael walks up to me, looks me straight in the eye and says “Thank
you for helping me while Jenny has been gone.” Jenny was one of our volunteers
that Michael was in love with. He struggled for days after she left last week
so I always made sure that he was okay, but I had no idea that it meant that
much to him. Cue more tears.
Bella was sick all day yesterday and I spent 2 hours
with her fast asleep on my lap. She didn’t make it over that night to say
good-bye. Luckily she was up and moving this morning and I was forced tos ay
another tough good-bye before I left. I always said she was my girl and the
other kids referred to me as Bella’s mommy when they didn’t know my actual
name. After caring for her sicknesses and sneaking her gifts here and there I
actually felt a lot like a mother at times. When she’s sick she doesn’t really
have too many emotions but today I knew she was upset. I couldn’t cry anymore
but I could tell her that I loved her and that I would miss her. She followed
us to the road and didn’t say a word. I know I broke her heart. We broke all of
their hearts. It’s up to God to put them back together.
Now it’s almost time to go back to America. I am so
ready to be back. The trip is “over” but it’s the awkward time where we can’t
just be at home. We still have to make that nasty journey in too many
airplanes. I wish I could say that time is passing quickly but it isn’t. I will
miss Ghana, but it’s time to come home. Thank you all for your support this
past month. The e-mails, the comments, and the prayers mean more than you could
ever know. May God continue to bless you. Love all of you! See ya in America!!!
Azunto,
Steph
Wish I could've put pictures on here. I was planning on it but the internet here is way too slow. Pictures will come after I get home! Also, dad, the title of this blog is for you. :)
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